It's funny how I'm on a college carrer where you just have the expose every little thing you create in your little mind of yours. And I'm still here: being ashamed of talking about God, not because I'm ashamed of Him, because He knows He's the person I most love in the world; and everytime someone says something about Him, it's like you're hitting right here, because He saved me, He's been there. Not you.
Aside from that I'm not fearless anymore.
I'm scared of everything. Everytime I think will get better and I will get fearless, again the drama, again the hurting, again people hurting, again the bitter.
It seems like everybody has the answer about how you must live life.
The worst of all is that I've got so many dreams that you wouldn't even have a close idea about how massively big they are. But if I wanna see those dreams in the future, I gotta start now. I started to work for those dreams but I'm already tired of fighting against the antagonist and sarcastic world I live now.
Aside from that I'm not fearless anymore.
I'm scared of everything. Everytime I think will get better and I will get fearless, again the drama, again the hurting, again people hurting, again the bitter.
It seems like everybody has the answer about how you must live life.
The worst of all is that I've got so many dreams that you wouldn't even have a close idea about how massively big they are. But if I wanna see those dreams in the future, I gotta start now. I started to work for those dreams but I'm already tired of fighting against the antagonist and sarcastic world I live now.
Why do I keep caring? Why am I not like before? Why do I care too much?
I used to be so careless, that it's surprisingly weird how quiet my life became. It's like I'm living and not living at the same time. I'm not here but not there yet.
I love the fact (read: the fact) that God has gave such an illness like scoliosis because I know He'll glorify Himself, but there's too many oposition and I'm not neccesarily decisive.
I'm alright, and I trust but I'm just tired.
I know someday I'll marry some guy who has the same idea of reaching dreams, who loves God as much as do; and probably, he will be asian or american with some rare facial features. And we will reach many souls for Christ but now... like right now, I can't see that coming true in THIS life.
