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domingo, 26 de mayo de 2013

I have this feeling that if I don't dance in the next two minutes with a bunch of people who feel music as much as I do, I'm gonna literally explode.

Like, I can't handle hidding this anymore. I've been raised dancing and speaking english, and those are both things I'm not applying at the moment, and I feel like my soul is about to escape from my body.

martes, 21 de mayo de 2013

It's funny how I'm on a college carrer where you just have the expose every little thing you create in your little mind of yours. And I'm still here: being ashamed of talking about God, not because I'm ashamed of Him, because He knows He's the person I most love in the world; and everytime someone says something about Him, it's like you're hitting right here, because He saved me, He's been there. Not you.

Aside from that I'm not fearless anymore.

I'm scared of everything. Everytime I think will get better and I will get fearless, again the drama, again the hurting, again people hurting, again the bitter.
It seems like everybody has the answer about how you must live life.

The worst of all is that I've got so many dreams that you wouldn't even have a close 
idea about how massively big they are. But if I wanna see those dreams in the future, I gotta start now. I started to work for those dreams but I'm already tired of fighting against the antagonist and sarcastic world I live now.

Why do I keep caring? Why am I not like before? Why do I care too much?

I used to be so careless, that it's surprisingly weird how quiet my life became. It's like I'm living and not living at the same time. I'm not here but not there yet.

I love the fact (read: the fact) that God has gave such an illness like scoliosis because I know He'll glorify Himself, but there's too many oposition and I'm not neccesarily decisive.
I'm alright, and I trust but I'm just tired.

I know someday I'll marry some guy who has the same idea of reaching dreams, who loves God as much as do; and probably, he will be asian or american with some rare facial features. And we will reach many souls for Christ but now... like right now, I can't see that coming true in THIS life.

martes, 14 de mayo de 2013

My armpits are not shaved.
My hair is not straight.
And my attitude is lost somewhere.

The thing is when you set yourself to reach something who never did before, you start to have struggles, struggles who no one has had before. And I'm not trying to sound like a special kiddo but trust me, is not the same to have the average dream, that the almost controversial dream.

That's why sometimes I feel like people just don't understand what I'm going through and even people say  there's no stereotype left, I'm beyond sure that we're still in the Picasso age. When people point their fingers and they don't get you.
Left aside.

And the worst of all is that I don't wanna lose my way in the way.
I just miss the careless Natalia, who doesn't care, she dreams, she reaches, she challenges, she overcomes, she doesn't give a damn.

I don't know.


"Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light." Micah 7.8

Natalia. UBA freshman. Filmmaker-to-be. Musical theatre student. Fan of life. 22. Old-school girl.


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