If my best guy would see me in this condition, he would say that maybe it's not good and why I keep replaying the same record? And at some point he would understand me because he had been here in THOSE times before. But my best guy is not here, and we haven't been able to talk each other since he's reaching his most beloved dreams and I love and support him as far as I live, he's my best friend, even if someday I get married with my future lovestory best friend, he will be the very first one.

I don't know if it is worst missing someone most of the time and at in a very bottom part of me wishing being with him or project on someones who has the same features.
At some point I know I'm over this situation but I used to be so attached to it so bad that it just became a part of me, and even if I don't live it I keep believing as a realistic circumsctance; no matter where I am. I can be from here to Southafrica and if something reminds me of that, something in my head turn itself as a last memory that's part of all of me. So as far as I keep projecting something that doesn't exist I will keep being in this condition.

That's not cool because I cannot imagine myself  in another way.