Look, it's like so atractive, it has that "something" and I don't know what it is; for some reason I always go back to it, it makes me feel alive in a strange way. It reminds how I used to be wonderfully alive and how miserable I think I am now. Even inspires me to reach the very bottom of me but at some point it kills me from inside out. It's so colorful, painful and deeply holdable, I hate it but I know it's already a part of me, I guess I'm meant to live like this...
It doesn't get what it takes, it's all blurry and it doesn't make me feel ok. It motivates me to lock myself and keep watching this record over and over again. It's what makes me pull my clothes when I see it, when I get drastically weak with a huge lack of air.
The biggest lie.
Everybody says that everything in the past is better, I disagree; it makes you feel alive but it kills you slowly, like a cancer, it destroys you inside out indeed. It makes you blind and ugh it's so addictive, you can't deny but let me tell you that if you don't decide moving from that place, don't expect being personally, emotionally and sentimentally succesfull.
It's never easy, is a long cycle, is like giving up on drugs, but "past abstinence" seems nice to me.